Scary Spice

Dear Dave #216

I appreciate you assuming that because I was sitting alone at Tandori with my book and iPod that I wanted to be interrupted. Clearly I was giving a "come interrupt my peaceful lunch you total stranger" vibe! How could I have not realized what I was doing? I mean my simple chick lit book must have led you to assume that all women love being hit on (badly) by guys they have never laid eyes upon before. You must have known that the entire 30 seconds you were rambling on to me I was screaming in my head "THIS IS IT!! I HAVE FOUND TRUE LOVE!!!" I must have scared you away when, in my pure joyous excitement, I told you I was already enjoying the story I was reading, and did not need another. Albeit your life story did seem far more amusing. However that was not the end of our trist! You spent a good part of your own meal staring at me (don't think I noticed your loving gaze). Not only that but you seemed somewhat unable to keep your own food going in your mouth. In fact, I feel I should tell you that a fork is meant to go in your mouth, not to repeatedly stab you in the face. Hmmm perhaps you were trying to recreate the sentiment put forth my Alan Rickman in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves....but I should tell you that his threat was more about cutting Robin's heart out with a spoon. But, however, I'm sure you meant well!! I cannot fault you for what is, I'm sure, a completely esoteric movie reference. Who would appreciate those more than I? Although if your intent was to woo me with this I feel I should tell you I was more frightened for my life than anything else. Not a minute has gone by since I shoveled the last of my food in my mouth and ran out of there that I haven't thought about you. Unfortunately I doubt that the impression you wished to leave me with was one of utter horror and more one of love and adoration. Clearly this was a swing and a miss on my part. 3 strikes and I'm out on true love once again.

Forkingly Yours.