Dear Creeper #2309852309853020
No. For the last time my key doesn't go to anything in particular. I must admit, I was already disturbed by your gaze as you walked up to my counter. Then I saw you had your 9 year old son accompanying you. I figured that you couldn't be that scary since you had you kid there watching your every move (clearly I should have remembered that uber creepy episode of Criminal Minds where a man had his son bring home women to be his "new mommy" that he ultimately raped in killed in their basement). When you asked me what my key went to I politely responded with my usual "Oh nothing. My mom gave it to me for my birthday" type response. When your follow up was "Oh...you mean it doesn't open anything more **INSERT SUPER CREEPY GAZE AND VOICE HERE** mysterious...?" I must admit I was frightened. Perhaps I should have been more clear when I said my MOTHER gave it to me. Clearly you think it is ok to ask a 21 year old cashier if they are into S&M right in front of your son. But, I must admit, it kind of put a damper on what could have been, I'm sure, a blossoming, loving and tender relationship. Perhaps I should have responded "oh it opens the chains in my trunk" very nonchalantly. Would that have been more your cup of tea? The loss is surely my own. Tears.
Yours in chains?
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